Brief Update: More ASL and A New Wooden Sword

Well, I am way overdue for an update here.

Summer's already been really long and it's just been a few short weeks. I've been working hard keeping Tristan as busy as possible.

We're still going to our ASL classes. It's moving very quickly and it can be hard to keep up. I think it's been easier to get Tristan to understand what I'm wanting from him when we use sign along with telling him orally.

We implemented a sticker chart for him. He earns one happy face every hour that he does a good job. He decided that he wanted to work towards earning a wooden sword like his best friend has. He worked very hard and ended up earning that wooden sword! He was so proud of himself.

Obviously, we can't keep bribing him with new toys, but I thought maybe we could offer him things like extra one-on-one time with Mommy or Daddy, doing whatever he wants to do or time with the Wii.

First ASL Class

Our first ASL class was last night and it was a total hit! Tristan was fascinated by the other hearing impaired kids.

The class was taught by a deaf woman. She didn't speak, but instead taught through a combination of signing, gestures, written words and pictures. At first I was a little worried since I have no ASL, but I think it really helped me to understand all the nonverbal cues in ASL.

It's not just moving your fingers, it's using your whole body, your face included. When signing "hot," you make a face like you burned yourself. "Eat up" is gestured while your mouth makes the motion for "up," or swallowing, whatever way you look at it.

The positioning of the fingers and hands is so important. A single finger out of place or an extra motion can change the meaning completely.

We're just taking a basic class right now, but after we move, I want to enroll in another class to expand what I'm learning now. I am really enjoying the class and I really think it will help Tristan to see the words as well as hear them.

ASL, Summer Programs and Chocolate Cake

We start ASL tomorrow! The School for the Deaf called me back last week and offered family classes in American Sign Language for Tristan for $50. I immediately accepted. The only downside is that the baby can't go and I had to find a sitter for her. The classes are in the evenings, so bedtime routine is going to be messed up, but I'm willing to do that once a week to help Tristan communicate better.

Ms. C., the play therapist, highly recommended that we find a program for him this summer because he'll get bored with unstructured time and that could be a trigger. It's looking like there's no way out of shelling out $1000 over the summer for the program.

I should have a final decision made about summer programs by the end of this week. I think he'll be going to Kama 'aina Kids, which has offered to take him on without the aid on a trial basis. I think he'll be just fine as long as he's kept busy.

Tristan's been relatively irritable lately. Tonight, we went out as a family to The Cheesecake Factory. Tristan did so well. I looked him straight in the eye and told him how well he had done. He smiled, then asked for some chocolate cake. I don't usually get deserts at restaurants, but made an exception because of his excellent behavior.

Day Camp Bust

I've been calling all over this island today with no results. Apparently, a day camp program for a 7 year old with hearing impairment and bipolar disorder doesn't exist here.

I put in a phone call to a local day care that also does day camp. I'm waiting on a call back from their care coordinator to find out if they're equipped to handle Tristan's special needs. I don't know if they'll be able to provide his medication if I do enroll him.  I'm also waiting on a phone call from a resource here that is looking into programs for hearing impaired children. I'm crossing my fingers they can help.

I called Military One Source last night. I got hung up on after being on hold for ten minutes. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry. Anyway, I got an email from them this morning that announced they had been unable to find anything in the area. It contained a list of places I could call to ask about day camp. Honestly, I feel like I wasted time calling One Source. I could have gotten that list myself off the internet.

If we do find something that is willing to take Tristan, I worry about the cost. We're looking at a minimum of $1000. We'll have to dip into our savings account to pay for this. I was hoping there would be some resources to help us, but I'm not feeling too hopeful at this point.

C. doesn't want to pay out that small fortune for Tristan to go to summer camp. I think Tristan needs it, so if I can find anything, we're doing it.

Vog and A Visit from Grandparents

We had a much easier time for the last four days, but we broke that streak today. I was really feeling good about Tristan's mood.

As usual, we went to the play therapist on Friday. Tristan and I had a Mommy/Son session. We started with a foot massage (for him) and I told him all the good things he had done over the last week. Since we'd had a rough week, it took me a few minutes to come up with a lot of good things. I felt terrible about that because I know it must feel awful to only be scolded. I was reminded that when I do acknowledge Tristan for his good behavior, I need to make eye contact because of his hearing impairment.

We saw Tristan's psychiatrist yesterday and we discussed the difficulties of the last week. He was of the opinion that perhaps the vog (volcanic smoke/ash smog) or the pollen was causing allergies which exacerbated his symptoms. I guess that's feasible, considering it's almost exactly a year to the day that Tristan was admitted to the hospital.

The psychiatrist suggested giving him Benadryl when he exhibits allergy symptoms, but he hasn't had any noticeable symptoms.

Anyways, today was a rough day, with him tantruming all day. He was incredibly resistant to doing his homework. Everything was a trigger. We tried to get him to calm down, but he just screamed.

My mother-in-law is visiting and yesterday we did not get home until after 8 p.m. We didn't realize we would be out that late, so we didn't bring Tristan's evening medication. He fell asleep in the car on the way home and wouldn't be wakened no matter how hard we tried. So we ended up not giving him his medication last night and it may have effected his behavior today. We've seldom missed any doses and I can't ever recall missing his evening dose. All medication was given on time today, so we'll see if it makes any difference in his behavior.

This week and next will be super busy with my inlaws being in town. Hopefully, it's uneventful and peaceful for all involved and Tristan enjoys his time with his grandparents.

I'm looking into Reactive Attachment Disorder treatment and behavior modification plans at the suggestion of a friend to see if it might not help us. Trista doesn't have RAD, but the plans have helped other children.

Seeking A New Approach and Considering Summer Vacation

Okay, I think we might need a new approach.

Tristan tantrumed all day. Every word out of his mouth was argumentative and combative. It was exhausting.

He came home and seemed okay. As soon as I told him it was time for homework, he immediately flung himself on the floor and from that point, the day went downhill. I put him in his room, where he flung things at the door and kicked and screamed. Then he calmed down and asked to come out. This happened about three or four times before I finally insisted that he take a nap.

He napped for about an hour and I really thought he would wake up in a much better mood. He didn't.

He screamed and thrashed around. He didn't even really have a reason to rage. He was in his room screaming "Shut up!" over and over again. I have no idea who he was screaming at since everyone else was downstairs. I'm going to mention it to Dr. M the next time we go.

Summer is a mere few weeks away and I have no idea how I'm going to keep my sanity. We'll be moving in a few months, so pressing the issue with the school district (which does NOT provide services in spite of the fact that he exhibits symptoms at school,) is probably not worth. I'm going to look into some programs and see if I can't find anything remotely affordable.

Mother's Day

I love Mother's Day. I don't love it because of breakfast in bed or jewelry, because I don't get those things. In fact, since Chris has to work tomorrow, I won't even get a break.

This is why I love Mother's Day:

Who needs a vase of real, expensive flowers when you get one of these? I keep all of the kids Mother's Day drawings and probably always will.

For all of you out there that mother, whether it be children, animals or plants, Happy Mother's Day.