A Tough Week, But A Better Weekend

We had a tough week.

Tristan was incredibly resistant to doing his homework. It took hours to do because he claimed that he didn't know how to do the math. I had to reteach him each step with every problem. With three children, I just don't really have the time to dedicate to teaching him like that. I'm trying a new approach; I give him beans to use to count the numbers. It seems to be helping out, so I'm optimistic.

Tristan was so high energy this past week, frantically running all over the place, randomly (and rhythmically) ejecting loud bursts of noise (usually roars.) I was so exhausted from dealing with him. I felt terrible because I just had no patience and ended up yelling at him a lot.

This weekend, I tried to make up for it. I let him lay in my bed with me on Friday night and I rubbed his back until he fell asleep. On Saturday, I let him come alone with me to Pennsylvania to purchase a storage unit for our dining room. He seemed really excited to leave his sisters behind. I let him get a donut from Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and he chose what we ate for lunch, as well.

His behavior seemed to improve and I'm going to make an effort to spend at least a few hours of positive alone time with him each week. I know it sounds like such an easy thing, but being as busy as I am, I don't even really get time to myself, much less with anyone else. I think it will be worth it, though, because it did seem to make a difference this weekend.

Tristan and the Case of the Missing Hearing Aid

I'm feeling optimistic. Tristan had a great day!

He came home, had snack and did his homework with little trouble. He was able to play outside for a little while before baseball practice. He got in trouble for throwing rocks (which he knows is strictly forbidden,) and sat in time out like he was supposed to- no tantrums!

Still no sign of his hearing aid. Last Thursday, he did not pick up his hearing aid when I asked him to, and his baby sister picked up the hearing aid off the floor and sucked on it. The battery compartment opened and she swallowed the battery. Needless to say, we had an hasty run to the emergency room where a quick x-ray revealed the battery floating in her tummy. We were all terrified and I think it really impacted Tristan more than I initially thought.

His teacher called me yesterday and told me that he'd been talking about it at school. We talked for a minute and it occurred to me that maybe he had hidden the hearing aid. I've scoured his room to no avail. I asked him about it and he admitted that maybe he had hidden it, but couldn't recall where he put it.

I've been telling him that we're not angry at him and it wasn't his fault that the baby ate the battery, but that it's important not to leave his hearing aid lying around. It's hard to say exactly what's going on in his head, but I'm hoping he doesn't feel guilty.

I'm just hoping that hearing aid shows up soon, otherwise we're going to have to shell out a couple thousand dollars for a new one.

Afraid of Homework

Oh, what a day!

Tristan came home from school in rare form. His communication notebook had nothing written in it, so he must have had an okay day at school.

I let him get a snack as soon as we got home, like every other day. After snack, he refused to do his homework, telling me, "I'm scared." When asked what he was scared of, he stated, "My homework scares me."

This is a new excuse. I tried helping him, but he started to scream and cry. He threw himself on the floor and thrashed around. I gave him the option to calm down and do his homework, or go to his room to calm down. He just continued to scream, so I picked him up (not an easy task,) and took him to his room.

Once in his room, he kicked the door and jumped up and down on the floor for about thirty minutes. After he calmed down, he knocked on his door, which is the way he tells me he's calm.

Even after he was calm, he was still incredibly defiant. Everything I asked him to do, he said, "No," to, regardless of what it was. I gave him his medication on time and could tell when it started to work, because he happily sat down and did his homework without so much as a peep. He has an appointment with Dr. M tomorrow and I'm going to see if we can't adjust the time he gets his medication, or maybe see if there's an extended release version.

I've been alone for the past three days, since C had to work over the weekend. He had another work thing to do today, so I was alone with the kids for two hours today. I think I just needed a break, because my patience had just worn out and I didn't handle Tristan as well as I could have. I almost wished that I smoked so I could take a five minute breather away from the kids, just to unwind for a minute.

After C came home, I went to our room for a few minutes and read something frivolous and light.

I made our Easter dinner today since C wasn't home for Easter. I made a ham and Tristan started dancing around the kitchen asking if I was making bacon. Tristan loves bacon (but then again, who doesn't love bacon?) He didn't seem to understand what I was making, even though he's had ham on other occasions. At dinner, he ate a ton of ham.

After bathtime (and medication,) he pulled his sister on top of him about three times before I finally sent him to bed. I'm not sure why he does this, but it's against the rules as she doesn't like it and I find it inappropriate. His doctor feels that it's because he's hypersexual as a symptom of his illness. I see why he would think that, but I think it could possibly be some kind of impulsive/compulsive need to touch.

I'm just glad today is over and I'm ready to start a new day.

Homework Woes

Tristan did get his medication this morning, but he still came home to turn somersaults and cartwheels in the living room. I'm wondering what's going on with him.

Homework has been a battle. We do thirty minutes and take a break. If he's in a good mindset, we attempt to do more homework after that, but he frequently isn't.

Yesterday, I went to pick up some baseball socks and new clothes for the girls. When I left, Tristan was sobbing hysterically on the floor screaming that he couldn't do his homework. I called 45 minutes later and Tristan was still screaming. I asked C. if Tristan had stopped at all, but he apparently had been screaming the entire time.

I got home about a half hour later and opened the front door to find Tristan rolling around on the floor screaming. He wasn't even really sure what he was screaming about at that point. I asked him if there was something he wanted.

He mumbled something about wanting a banana.

"Well, have a banana, then, Tristan," I said, " but then, you need to go back to your homework."

"But it's too HARD, Mommy! I can't do it! I don't know how!" He screamed.

"They gave you homework that you weren't taught in class? You've never seen this kind of work?" I asked. He nodded, but it tentative, not enthusiastic, so I knew he was lying.

I gave the homework another shot, but he started throwing himself on the floor and screaming, so I threw in the towel.

I hate just giving in because I know that's EXACTLY what he was aiming for, but we have to pick our battles with Tristan. He lost the privilege to play outside for the day because of the homework situation. I hate doing that because he needs to be able to run off some of his energy.

We also have an arrangement with his teachers that if his homework is incomplete, he stays inside during recess to complete it. I just don't get it. I know he can do his homework. I know he must hate missing out on playing with his friends.

We have an appointment with Dr. M, his psychiatrist, tomorrow, so I guess we'll come up with a game plan then.