The Damaged Door

We've had a bit of a set back. Honestly, I wonder that it isn't because he's just bored.

Yesterday, Tristan had one of the worst tantrums he's had in a while. It's doesn't even get close to the ones he had about a year ago, but he still managed to tear up his bedroom door. At the time, I thought he was throwing toys at the door, but he told me today that he was punching it.

He kicked his sister and I told him to sit in time out. He refused, so I gave him a choice. He could go to time out or go to his room. He refused both. I had to call our neighbor over to watch the girls while I handled Tristan. He kicked and fought all the way up the stairs.

I finally managed to get him to his room. He usually rages for a little while, then calms himself down. When he's done raging, he knocks on the door to let me know he's ready to come out. He didn't knock and I went to check on him. That's when I discovered the door.

I was aghast at what I found. I simply couldn't believe he'd torn up another door. The door will cost $150 to replace. We're moving away in a few months and the housing office isn't going to want to fix that, they'll just replace it.

I know it doesn't look like much here, but remember, my seven year old made those with his fists.

When I found it, he hid from me in his closet. I didn't yell at him or spank him or anything.  I was just so stunned. I quietly told him how upset I was and that he would not be coming down from his room for the rest of the day (it was about 4:00 at the time.) He ate his dinner in his room, then put himself to bed.

This morning, C went into Tristan's room and removed all of his toys. He's grounded from video games for two weeks. We have a chart with money values on it and he will do chores to work off the $150 for the door.

Honestly, I'm not really sure what else to do. I can't decide if it's too harsh or not harsh enough. The last time he tore up the door, he was six and was very ill. We didn't make a big deal out of it because he ended up going into the hospital. This time, he's old enough to understand and face the consequences of his actions.

Pickle Policeman and Rollercoaster Behavior

Tristan and I had a play therapy session together yesterday. We discussed touching and then made masks. He made a bad guy mask with many eyes while I made a green, freckled mask with policeman sunglasses. C. asked me what my mask was, so told her it was a "pickle policeman." We played out that the pickle policeman arrested the many eyed bad guy and locked him up in a lock box. It was pretty fun.

We've been having some extreme behavior. Over all, he's doing pretty well.

Yesterday, he threw a tantrum because he didn't want to sit in time out for kicking his friend. After the tantrum, I let him out of his room and put him back in time out. He seemed shocked I wanted him to sit in time out after throwing such a tantrum. I don't know why he would be shocked or confused about that- it isn't anything new.

Anyway- extreme behavior...He's been going from doing great and having no issues to suddenly exploding and having a major tantrum. I think I like it better this way than the tantrums broken up by constant movement and defiance.

He's also been saying things like "I have to beat up _____," when he gets upset with someone. He hasn't actually done it, so I am thankful for that. Maybe he's just expressing how he feels so he doesn't hit anyone. If that's the case, I'm proud of him for being able to express that.

Now he's playing Logo, a computer game designed to teach children how to program, with his dad and sister. He doesn't usually have the patience to play a game like that. I really do think we're on the up.

One Hell of a Day

I'm hesitant to write this post because I'm still optimistic that today will be better.

Tristan had one HELL of a day yesterday. He seemed okay on the way home. Once we got home, I ran the baby up to her bed for a nap, then ran back outside to unload groceries while Tristan and his sister hung out in the living room. While outside, I heard S let out a blood curdling scream and I ran back inside. Tristan had bitten the crap out of her!

When asked, neither one was sure why he had bitten her. He couldn't explain and apparently, there was no disagreement prior to the biting.

When I attempted to put him in time out, it was the beginning of a two hour battle. He screamed, thrashed and broke things. He back flipped off the couch. It was terrible. He would calm down just to find something new (and ridiculous) to rage about. When he finally calmed down, he sat in time-out for biting S.

His play therapist called (I swear, that woman has ESP or something,) and told me that she thought he might be attempting to manipulate his way out of time out and homework and that I was handling the situation well. That's always good to hear because I worry that I could be handling things better.

The rest of the day was pretty intense with defiance, and resistance to just about everything, but he didn't have any more tantrums...until 3 a.m.

He woke up S by climbing into her bed at 3 a.m. She came and got us because he is not allowed to sleep in her room due to his past behaviors towards her. He did not want to go back to his room and had another tantrum for another hour. He screamed and started pounding on the floor. C ran into the room to stop the pounding since we have neighbors that share a wall and we didn't want to wake them or their children.

He finally went back to sleep at 5 a.m., only to wake up half an hour later. I'm pretty sure he'll come home from school in a foul temper, grouchy from lack of sleep and already angry.

I can only home he comes home in a good mood. If not, he'll certainly be taking a nap after he gets home. We'll see his play therapist tomorrow and see if she has any new ideas.