A Long Overdue Update

I recently had a family member tell me how much this blog meant to her. It really surprised me because I didn't think that many people read it, especially family members. I felt guilty because I've done you guys a real disservice in neglecting to update. I'm going to work hard to be better about that.

We've moved back to the mainland. I was really worried that such a drastic change would throw Tristan off, but he's handled it pretty well.

The week before we moved was a living hell. I understand why it was hard since his schedule was all screwed up, but he had some difficult behavior.

My daughter came downstairs one night after the kids had gone to sleep. She was crying and rubbing her eyes. When asked what was wrong she complained of vaginal pain. I had her lie back and examined her. She had a tiny abrasion. I figured it was from her itching (after all, five year olds aren't exactly champion wipers,) but she said that Tristan had used an ink pen on her.

I immediately woke Tristan up and talked to him about it. He, of course, denied everything, but when I told him Sofie said it was in the afternoon, he said "No, it wasn't! It was in the morning." He ended up being confined to his room the next day and has been under close watch since then. He is not allowed to play with his sisters unsupervised. If one of them is upstairs, he stays down. If he's upstairs, they're downstairs. It's exhausting, but it's what needs to happen for everyone to stay safe.

Now that we're back on the mainland, he really seems to be thriving. He's been playing outside almost constantly. Tristan is enjoying the cool weather and is learning new things about our new climate. Keeping busy outside really seems to help keep the bad behavior to a minimum.

Now the hunt begins for a new doctor. We close on our new house on Monday and will enroll the children in school that afternoon (hopefully, they'll start later on the same week.) I'm crossing my fingers we're able to find good doctors.

The Very Touching Book and The Token System

The play therapist gave me The Very Touching Book to read to Tristan. It's a book about the three kinds of touching; good, bad and secret. She felt it would help him understand the right way to touch his sisters and I.

Tristan tends to be aggressive with his touching. He has an almost constant need to rub and touch people and it can border on the inappropriate. His psychiatrist feels it's a symptom of his bipolar and that seems to fit.

Anyways, reading that book this evening made me feel like a twelve year old boy. I really tried, but I couldn't help but laugh. The drawings are anatomically correct and seem a bit graphic. The preface at the beginning of the book explained that it's important to empower children with information about their own bodies, which I completely agree with. It's just difficult to encourage the kids to say "penis" over and over again until there were no more "purple faces." Of course, the only purple face was mine.

C., his play therapist, wants us to start him on the token reward system again. Basically, for every set period of time he stays on task and follows the rules, he gets a token (or sticker, etc.) He can use those tokens to "purchase" video game time, trampoline time, story time, or special snacks or time with one parent, etc. It really works well for Tristan, and I do think that most kids do well with such tangible, positive reinforcement. We have a stash of poker chips that we use for this purpose. Tristan likes to hold his tokens in his pocket and to count them. We're going to start the system again as soon as we have a down day.

Tristan lost his hearing aid. He's severely hearing impaired on the left side and he really needs that hearing aid to get the most out of his classes. I'm really hoping it turns up soon, because those bad boys are expensive!

Afraid of Homework

Oh, what a day!

Tristan came home from school in rare form. His communication notebook had nothing written in it, so he must have had an okay day at school.

I let him get a snack as soon as we got home, like every other day. After snack, he refused to do his homework, telling me, "I'm scared." When asked what he was scared of, he stated, "My homework scares me."

This is a new excuse. I tried helping him, but he started to scream and cry. He threw himself on the floor and thrashed around. I gave him the option to calm down and do his homework, or go to his room to calm down. He just continued to scream, so I picked him up (not an easy task,) and took him to his room.

Once in his room, he kicked the door and jumped up and down on the floor for about thirty minutes. After he calmed down, he knocked on his door, which is the way he tells me he's calm.

Even after he was calm, he was still incredibly defiant. Everything I asked him to do, he said, "No," to, regardless of what it was. I gave him his medication on time and could tell when it started to work, because he happily sat down and did his homework without so much as a peep. He has an appointment with Dr. M tomorrow and I'm going to see if we can't adjust the time he gets his medication, or maybe see if there's an extended release version.

I've been alone for the past three days, since C had to work over the weekend. He had another work thing to do today, so I was alone with the kids for two hours today. I think I just needed a break, because my patience had just worn out and I didn't handle Tristan as well as I could have. I almost wished that I smoked so I could take a five minute breather away from the kids, just to unwind for a minute.

After C came home, I went to our room for a few minutes and read something frivolous and light.

I made our Easter dinner today since C wasn't home for Easter. I made a ham and Tristan started dancing around the kitchen asking if I was making bacon. Tristan loves bacon (but then again, who doesn't love bacon?) He didn't seem to understand what I was making, even though he's had ham on other occasions. At dinner, he ate a ton of ham.

After bathtime (and medication,) he pulled his sister on top of him about three times before I finally sent him to bed. I'm not sure why he does this, but it's against the rules as she doesn't like it and I find it inappropriate. His doctor feels that it's because he's hypersexual as a symptom of his illness. I see why he would think that, but I think it could possibly be some kind of impulsive/compulsive need to touch.

I'm just glad today is over and I'm ready to start a new day.